[2026-10-21 00:30:53.636] Starting up round ID 264416.
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[2026-10-21 00:43:02.637] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper: "TO: NT Centcom
FROM: Brenna Mathews
IN RE: Legal Education & Bar Exam
"
[2026-10-21 00:47:00.098] PAPER: jaygrimes/(Mike Haddad) wrote to paper: "People often ask me, Father Mike, what's it like living on an ice-moon?
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- I say, it is like living in Wisconsin, except you cannot drive to Milwaukee.
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- You live in a little apartment under the ice. Very nice. The landlord says, ‘You have a view of the ocean.’
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- I say, ‘Father, I am six miles under the ice.’
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- He says, ‘Yes, but the rent reflects that.’
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- You want to get a pizza? Very difficult. The delivery guy has to come down through the ice, avoid the radiation, and then find your little submarine. You tip him twenty percent because you feel bad.
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- The pizza is cold.
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- Everything is cold. You put your coffee in the microwave, it freezes. You take a shower, the water freezes before it hits the floor. You have to wash yourself with a hair dryer.
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- And the electricity bill! Oh, Madonna mia!
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- You live on an ice moon, you think, ‘At least I will save money on refrigeration.’
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- No. They charge you extra for the refrigerator because it has to be heated to keep things from freezing.
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- You go to the grocery store. They have three kinds of milk: powdered, frozen, and the kind that comes from the science experiment.
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- The expiration date is 400 years from now. You say, ‘This milk is fresh!’
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- The cashier says, ‘No, sir. That is the old milk.’
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- You have a neighbor. Very nice man. Lives next door in a pressurized habitat. You wave at him through the window.
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- One day, you don't see him anymore.
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- You ask the building manager, ‘Where is my neighbor?’
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- He says, ‘Oh, he moved.’
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- You say, ‘Where to?’
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- He says, ‘Well, technically, he decompressed.’
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- You do not ask for details. You have enough problems.
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- And dating! Oh, forget about it.
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- You meet a girl at the ice-moon bar. You say, ‘Would you like to come up and see my place?’
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- She says, ‘Sure. Do you have oxygen?’
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- You say, ‘I have a tank.’
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- She says, ‘A big tank?’
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- You say, ‘Big enough for two.’
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- She says, ‘Romantic.’
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- You go back to your apartment. You light some candles. The oxygen alarm goes off. The date is over.
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- You try to go to church. The priest says Mass at eleven.
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- You ask, ‘Eleven in the morning?’
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- He says, ‘Which morning?’
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- Because on Jupiter's moons, the sun is just a little dot in the sky. You have no idea if it is Tuesday or Christmas.
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- The priest says, ‘Today is the Feast of Saint Patrick.’
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- You say, ‘Father, it is October.’
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- He says, ‘Yes, but the Guinness shipment arrived.’
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- And the Church is very strict about sin. You commit a mortal sin, you go to confession.
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- You say, ‘Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole a can of oxygen.’
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- The priest says, ‘How much oxygen?’
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- You say, ‘Three liters.’
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- He says, ‘That is serious. Three liters is a lot of oxygen.’
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- You say, ‘Father, I was suffocating.’
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- He says, ‘We all have our crosses to bear.’
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- Then you die. They bury you in the ice.
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- Very convenient. No funeral home, no embalming, no cemetery fees. They just put you outside.
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- Your relatives come to visit. They say, ‘He looks so peaceful.’
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- Of course he looks peaceful. He's been frozen for 300 years.
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- And people back on Earth say, ‘Oh, you are so lucky. You live on another world!’
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- Lucky?
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- I pay $4,000 a month for a one-bedroom habitat, my plumbing is a science-fiction experiment, my neighbors keep exploding, and the nearest Italian restaurant is 80 million miles away.
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- But the landlord says the neighborhood is up-and-coming.
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- Because NASA found bacteria in the ocean.
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- Now everybody wants to move here.
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- And you know what I say?
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- Madonna mia.
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- Even the bacteria are gentrifying the place.”"
[2026-10-21 00:47:23.765] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper: "Dear Centcom, I write this letter to ask for some further education, in the form of a small law library selection, other reading material, or lectures. If this is not able to be done currently, I also ask for how much it would cost to do such so me and others may aquire funds to pay for it ourselves.
Secondly, I ask to, after any courses completed, that I, and anyone interested, take a bar exam for whatever bar association that resides in the Spinward Sector.
"
[2026-10-21 00:48:03.181] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper: "Sincerely, [________________________________]
"
[2026-10-21 00:51:28.625] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper: "LETTER no.1 SUBJECT: Legal Education & Bar Exam
- BRENNA MATHEWS to NT CENTCOM
- BILL 20c from SENDER for STAMP
"
[2026-10-21 00:52:55.985] PAPER: Brenna Mathews, Esq. has sent a fax with the message "TO: NT Centcom
FROM: Brenna Mathews
IN RE: Legal Education & Bar Exam
/Dear Centcom, I write this letter to ask for some further education, in the form of a small law library selection, other reading material, or lectures. If this is not able to be done currently, I also ask for how much it would cost to do such so me and others may aquire funds to pay for it ourselves.
Secondly, I ask to, after any courses completed, that I, and anyone interested, take a bar exam for whatever bar association that resides in the Spinward Sector.
/Sincerely, [________________________________]
/LETTER no.1 SUBJECT: Legal Education & Bar Exam
- BRENNA MATHEWS to NT CENTCOM
- BILL 20c from SENDER for STAMP
/" to NT Customer Relations/central_command.
[2026-10-21 00:58:07.814] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper- 'Letter no.1|Law Library': "TO: Dave Davingson
FROM: Brenna Mathews
IN RE:Law Library
"
[2026-10-21 01:02:36.166] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper- 'Letter no.1|Law Library': "Dear Mr. Davingson,
I write to you to express my desire for a law library abord this station, I belive it would be of good use not just to me as an attorney but also to the security department as well as yourself.
If you are open to this idea, I pledge to contribute at least eight-hundred credits to this endevour.
Sincerely, [_____________________________]
"
[2026-10-21 01:04:41.506] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper- 'Letter no.1|Law Library': "LETTTER no.1 SUBJECT: Law Library
- BRENNA MATHEWS to DAVE DAVINGSON
- INTER-STATION MAIL NO POSTAGE
"
[2026-10-21 01:05:01.218] PAPER: Brenna Mathews, Esq. has sent a fax with the message "TO: Dave Davingson
FROM: Brenna Mathews
IN RE:Law Library
/Dear Mr. Davingson,
I write to you to express my desire for a law library abord this station, I belive it would be of good use not just to me as an attorney but also to the security department as well as yourself.
If you are open to this idea, I pledge to contribute at least eight-hundred credits to this endevour.
Sincerely, [_____________________________]
/LETTTER no.1 SUBJECT: Law Library
- BRENNA MATHEWS to DAVE DAVINGSON
- INTER-STATION MAIL NO POSTAGE
/" to Captain's Office/qNPn2.
[2026-10-21 01:08:42.714] PAPER: mornyres/(Nobody) held Old Recipe up to the security camera, requesting afonamos/(Amiga) read it.
[2026-10-21 01:09:03.012] PAPER: mornyres/(Nobody) held Old Recipe up to the security camera, requesting afonamos/(Amiga) read it.
[2026-10-21 01:23:06.005] PAPER: sunnyshovel/(Sonia Cruz) wrote to paper: "dear god why must I be stuck here, im SO FUCKING BORED PLEASE FREE ME I BEG YOU JUST FREE ME"
[2026-10-21 01:54:25.812] PAPER: alexguinea/(Brenna Mathews) wrote to paper: "I quit.
[_________________________]
This twenty-first day of October Anno Domini twenty-five thousand and sixty-six."
[2026-10-21 01:54:41.631] PAPER: Brenna Mathews, Esq. has sent a fax with the message "I quit.
[_________________________]
This twenty-first day of October Anno Domini twenty-five thousand and sixty-six./" to NT Customer Relations/central_command.