[2026-09-22 05:26:28.678] Starting up round ID 264054.
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[2026-09-22 06:37:36.437] PAPER: crazako/(Cole Raymond) wrote to paper: "My name is Cole Florence Raymond. I am a prisoner on board Unidentified Fortress Zeta. I am incarcerated on two counts of attempted murder. The sole security guard, Jat-Ra, upon hearing that I wanted parole, assigned me as a "squire" to the Rat King, and said that my job is to fetch him cheese. I was forced to drink the saliva of said Rat King. I severely consider this a violation of my rights as a sentient being. Please help me."
[2026-09-22 06:39:54.658] PAPER: Void Slayer/(River Reed) wrote to paper: "I mean, if you had 2 murders under your belt, whast a a third, even if a rat.  Regicide is such a ugly word..."
[2026-09-22 06:40:23.040] PAPER: crazako/(Cole Raymond) wrote to paper: "That is an actual army of at least 3 or 4 rats, not to mention he has his own claws."
[2026-09-22 07:05:04.416] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "Expedition to lavaland to investigate alien infestation, September 22, 2566"
[2026-09-22 07:05:21.194] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "Subjects: Smithers Mohawk and Mintkyu Qooble"
[2026-09-22 07:05:30.274] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "Account by Smithers:"
[2026-09-22 07:06:44.466] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "What we discovered down there was nothing I had ever seen before on normal lavaland trips. Even just the way up, we had seen a wizard firing spells at a goliath, a conga line of raptors exhibiting unnatural behavior, and other various oddities."
[2026-09-22 07:08:18.578] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "When we arrived to the site, a large battle between the native fauna and the alien species was already underway. Goliaths and burrowing worms had dispatched a large number of the aliens, and even the local alien queen."
[2026-09-22 07:09:14.794] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "Loot spotted on-site was indicative that the aliens had taken over some sort of sapient establishment, as there was advanced technology and firearms present."
[2026-09-22 07:09:37.837] PAPER: SpaceSmithers/(Smithers Mohawk) wrote to paper: "Work is ongoing to determine if the deceased alien queen can be recovered, and brought aboard the station for study."