Omni Enterprises Operatives:
Crew Major Victory!
The Research Staff has saved the disk and stopped the Omni Enterprises Operatives!

The syndicate operatives were:

0x0 was SHITHEAD THE IRRITATOR the Clown Operative and survived
Morrigarn was Agony Omni Enterprises the Operative and had their body destroyed

(Syndicates used 107 TC) [

Chameleon Kit
2 TC
A set of items that contain chameleon technology allowing you to disguise as pretty much anything on the station, and more! Due to budget cuts, the shoes don't provide protection against slipping and skillchips are sold separately.][

Clown Reinforcements (25% off!)
15 TC
Call in an additional clown to share the fun, equipped with full starting gear, but no telecrystals. Normally costs 20 TC. All sales final. For recreational use only.][

Combat Banana Shoes
6 TC
While making the wearer immune to most slipping attacks like regular combat clown shoes, these shoes can generate a large number of synthetic banana peels as the wearer walks, slipping up would-be pursuers. They also squeak significantly louder.][

Elite Syndicate MODsuit
8 TC
An upgraded, elite version of the Syndicate MODsuit. It features fireproofing, and also provides the user with superior armor and mobility compared to the standard Syndicate MODsuit.x2][

MODsuit Energy Shield Module (75% off!)
2 TC
An energy shield module for a MODsuit. The shields can stop a single impact before needing to recharge. Used wisely, this module will keep you alive for a lot longer. Normally costs 8 TC. All sales final. As seen on TV.][

CQC Equipment Case (Very Hard) (78% off!)
3 TC
Contains a manual that instructs you in the ways of CQC, or Close Quarters Combat. Comes with a stealth implant, a pack of smokes and a snazzy bandana (use it with the hat stabilizers in your MODsuit). Normally costs 14 TC. All sales final. Void where prohibited.][

Syndicate Tome
5 TC
Using rare artifacts acquired at great cost, the Syndicate has reverse engineered the seemingly magical books of a certain cult. Though lacking the esoteric abilities of the originals, these inferior copies are still quite useful. Often used by agents to protect themselves against foes who rely on magic while it's held. Though, it can be used to heal and harm other people with decent effectiveness much like a regular bible. Can also be used in-hand to 'claim' it, granting you priest-like abilities -- no training required!][

Teachstache Grenade
3 TC
A teargas grenade that launches sticky moustaches onto the face of anyone not wearing a clown or mime mask. The moustaches will remain attached to the face of all targets for one minute, preventing the use of breath masks and other such devices.x2][

Fungal Tuberculosis Grenade Box
15 TC
A primed bio-grenade packed into a compact box. Comes with five Bio Virus Antidote Kit (BVAK) autoinjectors for rapid application on up to two targets each, a syringe, and a bottle containing the BVAK solution.][

Viscerator Delivery Grenade Box
15 TC
A box containing unique grenades that deploys a swarm of viscerators upon activation, which will chase down and shred any non-operatives in the area.][

Clown Bomb
15 TC
The Clown bomb is a hilarious device capable of massive pranks. It has an adjustable timer, with a minimum of 90 seconds, and can be bolted to the floor with a wrench to prevent movement. The bomb is bulky and cannot be moved; upon ordering this item, a smaller beacon will be transported to you that will teleport the actual bomb to it upon activation. Note that this bomb can be defused, and some crew may attempt to do so.][

Bananium Energy Sword
3 TC
An energy sword that deals no damage, but will slip anyone it contacts, be it by melee attack, thrown impact, or just stepping on it. Beware friendly fire, as even anti-slip shoes will not protect against it.][

Full Syndicate Surgery Medkit
3 TC
The Syndicate surgery medkit is a toolkit containing all surgery tools, surgical drapes, a syringe, and some sedatives.][

Box of Throwing Weapons (66% off!)
1 TC
A box of shurikens and reinforced bolas from ancient Earth martial arts. They are highly effective throwing weapons. The bolas can knock a target down and the shurikens will embed into limbs. Normally costs 3 TC. All sales final. For recreational use only.]

Nukem Operatives:
Crew Major Victory!
The Research Staff has saved the disk and stopped the Nukem Operatives!

The syndicate operatives were:

leifnobody was Clown King Clown King Duke Nukem the Operative and had their body destroyed
orangeasarus was Smoke Nukem the Clown Operative and died
FamilyGuyFunny was Lyla Nukem the Operative and had their body destroyed
Froboot was Living Torch Nukem the Operative and survived
NexusLeader was Suspect Nukem the Operative and survived
deadbanana34 was The Bloodsoaked Twink Nukem the Clown Operative and survived
blockaboo was Nukem Operative #7 the Operative and had their body destroyed
Ifyadontknownowyaknow was Shooter Nukem the Operative and survived

(Syndicates used 300 TC) [

Clown Reinforcements (40% off!)
12 TC
Call in an additional clown to share the fun, equipped with full starting gear, but no telecrystals. Normally costs 20 TC. All sales final. Not recommended for children.][

Clown Reinforcements
20 TC
Call in an additional clown to share the fun, equipped with full starting gear, but no telecrystals.x2][

Gloves of the North Star (25% off!)
6 TC
These gloves let the user punch people very fast. Does not improve weapon attack speed or the meaty fists of a hulk. Normally costs 8 TC. All sales final. Use only as directed.][

Codespeak Manual (33% off!)
2 TC
Syndicate agents can be trained to use a series of codewords to convey complex information, which sounds like random concepts and drinks to anyone listening. This manual teaches you this Codespeak. You can also hit someone else with the manual in order to teach them. This is the deluxe edition, which has unlimited uses. Normally costs 3 TC. All sales final. As seen on TV.][

CQC Equipment Case (Very Hard)
14 TC
Contains a manual that instructs you in the ways of CQC, or Close Quarters Combat. Comes with a stealth implant, a pack of smokes and a snazzy bandana (use it with the hat stabilizers in your MODsuit).x2][

MODsuit Energy Shield Module
8 TC
An energy shield module for a MODsuit. The shields can stop a single impact before needing to recharge. Used wisely, this module will keep you alive for a lot longer.][

Pre-Loaded Syndicate Intellicard
12 TC
A syndicate intellicard that can be activated to download a captured Nanotrasen AI, modified with the standard syndicate lawset. You can slot it into your modsuit for a conversational partner! It can additionally control the MODsuit's modules at will, and move your body around even if you're in critical condition or dead. However, due to failsafes activated during the extraction process, the AI is unable to interact with electronics from anywhere but direct proximity...][

Syndicate AI Upgrade
4 TC
...unless you buy the Syndicate Upgrade! This data chip allows the captured AI to increase its interaction range by two tiles per application. The Syndicate recommends three or four purchases at most, for a total of seven or infinite meters of range.][

MODsuit Shock-Absorber Module
1 TC
A MODsuit module preventing the user from getting knocked down by batons.][

Simian Agent Supplies (75% off!)
1 TC
Sometimes you need a bit more firepower than a rabid monkey. Such as a rabid, armed monkey! Monkeys can unpack this kit to receive a bag with a bargain-bin gun, ammunition, and some miscellaneous supplies. Normally costs 4 TC. All sales final. Void where prohibited.][

Gloves of the North Star
8 TC
These gloves let the user punch people very fast. Does not improve weapon attack speed or the meaty fists of a hulk.][

Overwatch Intelligence Agent
12 TC
An Overwatch Intelligence Agent is assigned to your operation. They can view your progress and help coordinate using your operative team's body-cams. They can also pilot the shuttle remotely and view the station's camera net. If you're a meathead who's just here to kill people and don't care about strategising or intel, you'll still have someone to bear witness to your murder-spree!x2][

Dark H.O.N.K.
80 TC
A clown combat mech equipped with bombanana peel and tearstache grenade launchers, as well as the ubiquitous HoNkER BlAsT 5000.][

Full Syndicate Toolbox
1 TC
The Syndicate toolbox is a suspicious black and red. It comes loaded with a full tool set including a multitool and combat gloves that are resistant to shocks and heat.][

MODsuit Anti-Slip Module
1 TC
A MODsuit module preventing the user from slipping on water.][

Banana Cream Pie Cannon
10 TC
A special pie cannon for a special clown, this gadget can hold up to 20 pies and automatically fabricates one every two seconds!][

Bananium Energy Shield
16 TC
A clown's most powerful defensive weapon, this personal shield provides near immunity to ranged energy attacks by bouncing them back at the ones who fired them. It can also be thrown to bounce off of people, slipping them, and returning to you even if you miss. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STAND ON SHIELD WHILE DEPLOYED, EVEN IF WEARING ANTI-SLIP SHOES.][

Energy Sword
6 TC
The energy sword is an edged weapon with a blade of pure energy. The sword is small enough to be pocketed when inactive. Activating it produces a loud, distinctive noise.]